Lacking

Something must be cataloged so that I don't forget, but the motivation is lacking.

I've been working a great deal lately, after the incident surrounding Kasra, Zeb, Portia, and Skirt, Madeline, and myself all left to wander the desert. I had gone walking one evening, and come back the next morning to discover the camp had been moved in my absence. I walked into Kasra, rented a room in an inn, and bathed. After this I went into the market, and found Madeline. Zeb came along shortly thereafter, and we eventually convened to eat dinner. Having been contacted by one of Lucien's men, we left for Salacious Steel. Except that when we arrived, it was to find the group had already embarked for the house were it was believed Corinn was being held. When we arrived there, we found a few that had stayed behind in a camp among nomads, but no sign of the Ubar's general group. I waited until the next day for direction, and receiving no word, returned to Ar.

Last night, I walked about in search of Madeline. I found her at the cliff with Portia and Ups. She was attempting to bury the journal she has been using, the journal she'd had Before, and that I allowed her to continue scripting her thoughts in. I think my pointing out that it is mine, not hers, came as an epiphany. When I mentioned that she was basically disposing of all the lessons learned in the time Before, and since, she said she had not thought of that. Which is rather the point. I'm not sure she understands yet, but I had her sleep on the furs in the main room last night, while I did not sleep at all.

On a better note, Fate and I have been working toward our common goal. No sign of anything yet, or anyone to be more precise, but we've only been able to meet twice. We use the guest room at the far end of the second floor, which has a nice view, and stays warmer than any other room in the house due to its position and size. I gave her a few items I thought she might make use of later, and one for now, one that never was used by the person for whom it was originally intended. It's not love, at least not in the sense of romantic attachment, but it's still important. Our children, girls she believes they might be, will have a set of devoted parents. I think she felt I might be angry about girls, finding them lacking, but the first person I ever raised was a girl.